Manipulation in sales and negotiations.

Manipulation - a pseudo-philosophers of life that seeks to operate and control both themselves and others. (E.Shostrom)

Any expert will sooner or later face difficulties. It's one thing when they are overcome depends solely on yourself. But what if it is a sales manager whose client stubbornly antlers rests in the ground that no one would do? "Eh, what can you do, tough customers!" - Says a rookie. But we all know: all our fears - from the head.

So, you are communicating with the client. Tell me, Do you know the feeling of incompetence, inferiority, uncertainty in the outcome of discussions arising seemingly for no reason? Sometimes, during a call, you barely suppressed to prevent the will suddenly surging emotions on you. And periodically you and all wallow: it seems that the agreement is about to be reached, and you barely internally burgeoning pride like - boom! - Client again shows distrust. I imagine your resentment and frustration! What is it ?! I have the answer to this question: it is possible that you have manipulated.
What is manipulation?
Manipulation - is an implicit impact on the part of the interlocutor, who wants to lead you to experience certain emotions and commit acts favorable to him. Sinister customer! Can not you talk to "grown-up"? However, the same thing is that the manipulation is not always conscious character. Sometimes the human manipulation - it's a habit, a common thing, in which he does not realize. For example, your partner for achieving the goal (not only in business and in the negotiations, but also in his personal life) usually builds the victim. It's not that all is not in this world, and it eloquently expresses his eternal dissatisfaction. He is able to destroy you look, laugh at your tie, but he is not an evil, no. Perhaps, on the contrary: he just defends.

In order to determine how we deal with the manipulation and output dialogue in a constructive direction, let's understand to begin with: what could be the reasons for this phenomenon? Why do people - consciously or unconsciously - involved in the manipulation?

Reason №1. Why cunning'll get more! Once your client was a child, too, as we all do. How to attract the attention of adults, chatting enthusiastically about something incomprehensible? Crick. But in most cases of hysterical crying, you can dismiss or you risk to remain punished, but not heard. But if you something happens: you fall or hurt - attention instantly drawn to you. Adults are doing everything possible to make you feel better. Well, understand the child to achieve the goal simply to portray weak, pretend.

Reason №2. "Do not ask for anything! Do nothing, especially those who are stronger than you. " And in my childhood parents stronger. Execution of desires of the child (often impracticable) is totally dependent on them and are not always carried out. Conclusion: a direct request will get you nowhere.

Reason №3. The child is desperately trying to prove why he needs a star from the sky, believing in his argument. But what do the parents do? Moreover, they do not get a star, so more and often refuse to explain why! Likewise, it can not get it unique and indispensable toy, whatever the arguments of the baby is not given. Transferring the experience into adulthood, people said: No need to explain, I'd rather give the desired interlocutor for me by other methods (for example, pushing the emotion).

Reason №4. Result orientation. I is important not only to win but also to prevent won another (albeit without prejudice to me). This idea has deep roots and, according to research by scientists, lies deep in the Russian folklore. Besides, it is not that important, I'll do the methods of his own. In the end, hidden manipulation better fights with fists, is not it?

Reason №5. This reason is often summed up all the others. Manipulation becomes a habit. The man does not know other ways to achieve the desired.

How important to educate children, is not it? But we are very able to help themselves when dealing with these older children in the face of their customers, and, perhaps, and business partners.